Todays randomness is brought to you by a trip to Walmart, the word peregrination \pair-uh-gruh-NAY-shun\noun: an excursion especially on foot or to a foreign country : journey, and the number 2874.
Everytime I venture into the uncharted aisles of "everyday item goodness" I find myself in a 3rd world country inhabited by people of unknown origin whom can only be classified by their manner of dress.
There's members of the High Court of Sweatpantopia
The Urchins from Baggypant Isle
The Cyborgs from the Planet FatScooter
The Mullet Warriors from Trailer 92
The Norms
The Hunter Gathers.... etc
And mixed throughout the masses are their demon spawn, I read not too long ago about an old man in a Walmart far far away that took it upon himself to liberally smack one of these creatures (which wasn't one of his own ilk). I never had the inkling myself. Until today....
Bartering in a checkout line should be outlawed, more so when you have 3 demons crawling in and about the shopping cart, on shelving, in and out of other peoples legs, demons that are throwing impulse items on the conveyor belt, opening and closing beverage coolers, dropping beverages on the floor from said coolers. Those that are whining for McDonalds food and screaming just loud enough to pierce an eardrum should you be within say; I don't know,4ft of them.
It takes a lot to rattle me into evil thoughts, I at one point imagined that my boot was clearly lodged in one of the demons asses. (I chuckled outloud). The caretaker for these devilish little monsters would have had a much easier time if she'd decided that the outing would have benefited from a cattle prod or two.
When I was a child, a backhand would have straightened me out, in fact the stink eye prior to a backhand would have squashed every and all thought of misbehaving in public. I guess a "TimeOut" doesn't have the same effect.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Landmine Croquet
If you've never heard of it before I'll fill you in with pics and a color commentary after the weekend. More specifically Monday because the Croquet Tournament in on Saturday and I already burned a vacation day for Sunday. It involves Beer and Croquet, a bunch of food and a few ridiculous College buddies with a healthy appetite for crazy.
At one point I was hosting between 12-18 people for the weekend of Beer,BBQ,and Games. Now it seems like 10 is the number. That doesn't include the people just stopping by for a burger though. I'm looking forward to it.
At one point I was hosting between 12-18 people for the weekend of Beer,BBQ,and Games. Now it seems like 10 is the number. That doesn't include the people just stopping by for a burger though. I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I'm alive
Still alive... I just got sucked into Faceyspace lately.
Update, the landmine croquet tourney is coming along nicely. 1 month away, and hopefully a few more people will be able to show up.
I've finally gotten the storage facilities, and the desired storage units forthe hardtop. I'm going to be rolling with the top down until I can't hold the steering wheel anymore due to shivering. I'm going to take the doors off this weekend just to see how bad-ass it'll feel.
wedding season is slowly rolling to a close with 2weeks until the double-header. er, well...back to back weekends.
I'll have to find an interesting life in order to type more.
Update, the landmine croquet tourney is coming along nicely. 1 month away, and hopefully a few more people will be able to show up.
I've finally gotten the storage facilities, and the desired storage units forthe hardtop. I'm going to be rolling with the top down until I can't hold the steering wheel anymore due to shivering. I'm going to take the doors off this weekend just to see how bad-ass it'll feel.
wedding season is slowly rolling to a close with 2weeks until the double-header. er, well...back to back weekends.
I'll have to find an interesting life in order to type more.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
skinny jeans
If by chance you are in the mood to wear skinny jeans there are a few things I think one should follow to make it more socially acceptable:
1.) Skinny Jeans are stupid avoid them
2.) If you've got tank ass, no one wants to see your rendition of a double popsicle
3.) If you have to squeeze into said skinny jeans, don't bother
4.) Jeans are a comfort clothing you should be able to breathe whilst wearing them
5.) Good luck with your keys bring some bandaides with you where ever you go.
6.) Never ever, NEVER think that you can pick a wedgie standing in line at the bank
7.) $200 for a pair of pre-shredded skinny jeans is just as stupid as buying regular comfortable jeans that have been shredded prior to purchase.(I'm looking at you Abercrombie)
Todays randomness is brought to you by Skinny Jeans ass pickin' the word usufruct • \YOO-zuh-frukt\ • noun *1 : the legal right of using and enjoying the fruits or profits of something belonging to another 2 : the right to use or enjoy something, and the number (<) the cost of a jelly donut.
1.) Skinny Jeans are stupid avoid them
2.) If you've got tank ass, no one wants to see your rendition of a double popsicle
3.) If you have to squeeze into said skinny jeans, don't bother
4.) Jeans are a comfort clothing you should be able to breathe whilst wearing them
5.) Good luck with your keys bring some bandaides with you where ever you go.
6.) Never ever, NEVER think that you can pick a wedgie standing in line at the bank
7.) $200 for a pair of pre-shredded skinny jeans is just as stupid as buying regular comfortable jeans that have been shredded prior to purchase.(I'm looking at you Abercrombie)
Todays randomness is brought to you by Skinny Jeans ass pickin' the word usufruct • \YOO-zuh-frukt\ • noun *1 : the legal right of using and enjoying the fruits or profits of something belonging to another 2 : the right to use or enjoy something, and the number (<) the cost of a jelly donut.
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